I Wonder

 

I wonder if there will come a time when people will realize they are all the same. I wonder if one day they will accept, that in our core we are all made of the same substances. Race, religion, nationality, ethnicity, language, geographic location will not matter.  I wonder if they will understand that we all have the right to be free and happy. I wonder if humans will love one another like they love themselves. I wonder if everyone will value life. I wonder if we will survive until then.  

Now we are destroying our home planet Earth and killing each other in the name of race, religion and power. If there ever was a God he/she/it would put an end to this madness but alas there is no such entity. 

We don’t deserve this world, this beautiful planet, this abundant life. If we continue wagging wars and killing each other and destroying our home we will be doomed to be extinct. 

Maybe then will be the dawn of a new human who deserves this life. 

 Why is the world so chaotic?  It's September and it's hot as hell. California is burning and some other states are having floods and hurricanes.  We are still in the midst of the Covid 19 pandemic. Large number of people are still dying.  The world is weary of the pandemic because governments and people want to get back to business as usual but they can't.  The American election is less than 2 months away and Russians are at it again. Trump is still president and is acting crazier by the day. The mystery of this century is that he still has supporters.  Putin is still poisoning his opposition and all the other nations are paralyzed and can't do anything.  People are feeling isolated and lonely.  Vast number of people have lost their jobs, their health insurance and can't feed their kids.  Most rich people are getting richer like the owner of Amazon Jeff Bezos because I and billions of others are shopping online because we are too scared to go to stores.  My mind is melting from the heat and boardroom. I have been having weird dreams like dreaming about my childhood home being renovated or that I'm a murderer of child abusers. I hate cooking more than ever but I'm also sick of eating fast food. I keep thinking I could live with coffee and ice cream alone. Mosquitoes are bitting the hell out of me this year.  I keep finding more junk around the house to throw away witch is a good thing. I have started to envy singer songwriters because they can express the most mundane and elementary feelings and thoughts and still get rich and famous.  I wish I had more people to talk to.  There is nothing good to watch on TV or Netflix or Amazon or anywhere else.  Is the world coming to an end? I don't know anything anymore. 

PANDEMIC

These are historical times. We are witnessing the devastation that this pandemic has caused all over the world. People everywhere have been effected. Hundreds of thousands of people have died and millions are infected.  Millions of people have lost their jobs or have become homeless.  Places that a large number of people are in close quarters such as prisons, nursing homes, factories, refugee camps they all have been hit hard with the Covid-19 virus.  But wars haven’t stopped, the colossal migration of people from war torn countries hasn’t stopped.  

And somehow life goes on. People still get married, they still have babies.  Politics is being played and misused, elections are being run and people still die from other diseases than Covid-19. 

We have been staying home since mid march. We go out only for food, groceries, medication and gas.  We also order groceries and food from restaurants and it’s delivered. 

Most people are tired of social isolation and they miss human connections.  Some people who have to stay home have started new hobbies.  People have taken up  bicycling, gardening, baking and walking.  

I personally feel lonely, I feel down and listless.  I can’t motivate myself to do anything.  I feel that I am waiting for something to finish or start and then I will start living my life again. Honestly I wasn’t very happy before the pandemic but now its much much worse.

April 8, 2020

Mourning

I want to go to a mountain top and scream

And scream and scream and scream

I want to take a sledge hammer and strike 

The rocks and shatter them all to smithereens 

I want to pull on my hair 

Collapse on the ground

And weep and weep and weep

I want to wrap by body in a black shroud

Get on my knees 

Go from here to the tallest mountain

And cry  and wail and beg for mercy

If there is a God maybe she takes

Pity on us and stops this slaughter

Maybe we need human sacrifices 

Lets round up all the war mongers

The people who have committed crimes against humanity

Weapon makers, tyrants, dictatores

Corrupters, polluters, perverts 

And offer them to this God

My heart is broken 

Our hearts are broken

We are all in mourning 

For the thousands who have perished

To this evil virus