Saturday, April 25, 2015

Desperate for Answers

Desperate for Answers

When will parents stop feeling guilty about how their children's lives turned out? 
When should a parent shift responsibility for a disabled child to another entity? 
What if a child never becomes an independent adult? 
Should parents put themselves first at any time?
Or children should come first all the time? 
Should parents prepare their children with the eventuality of parental death
At what age do children understand the concept of death
How can any parent guarantee that their disabled child will be taken care of after they’re 
Should the siblings have any responsibility for their sick or disabled sibling? And to what extent? 
Should the extended family be responsible for a child who’s left parentless?
Is it a good idea to appoint an outsider as your Trustee? In appose to a family member? 
Will my disabled adult child feel abandoned if I place her in a group home?
Would I hurt her psychologically if I do?
What if something awful happens to her there? Will she recover emotionally? Will I?
Will I be able to forgive myself?
Have I been using my disabled child as a crutch
Do I blame her for my failures? Or use her as an excuse for them? 
Would I be a different person if she had remained healthy?
How has her life impacted mine?

Can I find answers for these difficult questions?

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

April 24 Imbeded in My Psychie

A long time ago a psychiatrist told me that most Armenian women are depressed, he didn't tell me if this information was the result of a study, I assumed he had treated a large proportion of Armenian  women in his practice.  I am not a psychiatrist nor am I a research scientist but I can guess one reason, the Armenian genocide.  

From a very early age even today, starting from pre-school Armenian children are taught about the Armenian Genocide. Year after year we marked April 24; in the beginning as a mourning day and in more recent times as a remembrance day of the events of April 24, 1915.  We were taught about the atrocities that were committed by the Turkish government. We read books about the events, graphic memoirs, and horifying survivor testimonies. I for one read countless books mostly dealing with Armenian history, specially Western Armenian history.  Even now I remember how these books effected me, I felt great sadness, rage, hopelessness and hatred.  These feelings just kept growing as I matured and understood more. We were always told never to forget what happened to our people.  What I understood from my readings, was that no one cared, no one came to our rescue, no one even attempted.  Then came the denials of the Turkish government.  Despite the fact that this genocide happened 100 years ago, the Armenian genocide is well documented. There are books by non-Armenian writers,  there are pictures, retelling of the events by missionary workers, by American generals, by other countries ambassadors in Turkey. And yet the Turkish government still denies it. 

In my opinion most Armenians have been and are traumatized and scarred by their history. I feel that all new generations will be traumatized and deeply effected until this crime against humanity in general and against Armenians in particular is acknowledged by the Turkish government.

Last year when I saw my 4 year old grand-daughter wearing a commemorative shirt about April 24 it really broke my heart. I felt so sad and angry that this little girl had to know and will know more as she grows about the ugliness and cruelty of humans to their kind. I wish she didn't have to.